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Tombstone Epitaphs

If you've come up blank after wracking your brain to come up with creative epitaphs to put up your tombstones these may be just what you need. Some of these are from actual tombstones. These are listed with the location of the cemetery if known in parentheses after the epitaph.

tombstone image
  • I. B. Daide
    (submitted by: Michael A. Heigl, Calgary, Alberta, Canada)
  • B. F. Raid
    (submitted by: Michelle Denton, Mesa, AZ)
  • Ben Better
    (submitted by: Amelia, Vaughan)
  • Less Sterea
    (submitted by: Amelia, Vaughan)
  • Rigg R. Mortiss
    (submitted by: Amelia, Vaughan)
  • D. Ceased
    (submitted by: Cherrylene)
  • Anna Rexick
    (submitted by: Peter M., San Francisco)
  • Manny Bones
  • Phil Dirt
  • Emma Spook
  • Stu Meet
  • Barry D. Alive
  • Myra Maynes
    (submitted by: Paul Wharton, Park Ridge, NJ)
  • C. N. Angels
    (submitted by: Paul Wharton, Park Ridge, NJ)
  • Rigor Mortis
    (submitted by: Paul Wharton, Park Ridge, NJ)
  • M. T. Box
    (submitted by: Debra Schmutzer, New York, NY)
  • Clair A. Grave
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Mark D. Spot
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Aerwee Deadyet
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Inda Graves
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Whogo Inda Graves
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • I. C. A. Ghost
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Evie Pea
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Amber Lance
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Sir Jacole Ward
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Marry Ann Id-Diot
    (submitted by: Jennifer Morquecho, Toledo, OH)
  • Stephanie Kant-Schwimmer
    (submitted by: Randy, Daly City, CA)
  • Pearl E. Gates
  • Sam Manilla
  • Sue Flay
  • Stephanie Kant-Schwimmer
    (submitted by: Randy, Daly City, CA)
  • Keelan Over
    (submitted by: Randy, Daly City, CA)
  • Cora Pse
    (submitted by: Randy, Daly City, CA)
  • Stu D. Bones
    (submitted by: Debbie Trottier, Brampton, Ontario)
  • Colin D. Ghosts
    (submitted by: Debbie, Brampton, Ontario)
  • Ron Over
  • Doug Deep
    (submitted by: Debbie, Brampton, Ontario)
  • Mac Abre
    (submitted by: Wendy Seymour, Billerica)
  • Izzy Dead
  • Didi Croak
  • Lucy Fear
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • Ivor Wound
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • B. Headed
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • I. C. Gore
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • Dee Compose
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • D. Capitated
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • D. Evil
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • Pete Moss
    (submitted by: Debbie Parry, Toronto, Canada)
  • Miss Inga Cranium
    (submitted by: Chris, Portage, MI)
  • Otta B. Alive
  • Dee Kayed
  • Dee Parted
  • Pierson D. Heart
  • Al B. Bach
  • Al B. Rightbach
  • Al Dente
  • Wilson B. Bach
  • Will B. Bach
  • Huel B. Bach
  • D. Ed Body
  • Manny Bones
  • Justin Pieces
  • Emma Ghost
  • Phil D. Holes
  • Huel B. Heresune
  • I. M. Gone
  • I. M. Moulding
  • Izzy Gone
  • U. R. Next
  • Abby Normal
  • Barry A. Live
  • Dawn Under
  • I. B. Krisp
  • C. U. Sune
  • B. A. Ghoul
  • Ted N. Buried
  • Vandal B. Ware

Here Lies Nate...
He brought my daughter home,
Way too late!
(submitted by: Nate)

Remember friends as you pass by
that all mankind was born to die,
so let your cares on Christ be cast
that you may dwell with him at last
(submitted by: Josh, Crowell Cemetery, GA)

R.I.P.
Elmer Fudd
We found him Lying in the mud
"What's up Doc" written in his blood.
(submitted by: Kat Frye, Dingmans Ferry, PA)

Ian Rowlins
1983 - 2004
You're standing on my face!
(Forest Lawn Cemetery, Buffalo, NY submitted by: Aimee Meldrum)

Elvis
Accept It
(submitted by: Dallas Yetman, Orlando)

You should see the other guy
(submitted by: John A.)

With a red head he did flirt
Caught by his wife
Now here lies Burt
(submitted by: Joanne Davis, Baldwin, NY)

Fester N. Rott
Do Not Disturb
I Sleepwalk
(submitted by: Kristine, Wixom)

Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
Only the good die young
(East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia, Canada)

Here lies Johnny Yeast... Pardon me for not rising.
(Cemetery in Ruidoso, New Mexico)

Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
(Cemetery in Silver City, Nevada)

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
(Cemetery in Nantucket, Massachusetts)

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny
(Headstone of John Penny, Wimborne, England)

Anna Hopewell
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
(Cemetery in Enosburg Falls, Vermont)

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
(Cemetery in Ribbesford, England)

Here lies Sir Edward Poe,
The train was fast, but he was slow.
(submitted by: Peter M., San Francisco)

Here lies my wife
So let her lie.
Now she's at rest,
And so am I.

Johnnie Schewel, librarian
102, past due no more
1842-1944
THE END
(submitted by: Penny B, Murfreesboro)

Here lies JEB BROWN
he lies here because his neck was too close to a rope
while his feet were too far from the ground!
(submitted by: L.Giansanti, Copperas Cove, TX)

Here Lies Rosey
USED to be very cozy!
(submitted by: Lola, Las Vegas, Nevada)

John:
Free your body and soul
Unfold your powerful wings
Climb up the highest mountain
Kick your feet up in the air
You may now live forever
Or return to this Earth
Unless you feel good where you are!
(Notre Dame des Neiges Cemetery, Montreal, Canada)

Ben D. N. Over
To take a dump
Key Lynn Over
Because it stunk
(submitted by: Megan Dennis, Orlando, Florida)

Meg
Here lies good ol' Meg
She fought a bear and
lost more than a leg!
(submitted by: Megan Dennis, Orlando, Florida)

Here undernieth this little stone
Lies Robert Earl of Huntington
No archer were as he so good
and people called him Robin Hood
A skillful man, above all men
this world will never see again
(A lone grave in a New England forrest. submitted by: Ashley)

Here lies Ima Fox
With her golden locks
She was quite a fox
Caught the pox
Now here in a box
(submitted by: B. Ridgell, Midland, Texas)

I gave my heart
I gave my hand
He went and died
That awkward man
(submitted by: Hali, Londonderry)

Hygenic Jack
That's what they say
He changed his undies every day
(submitted by: Hali, Londonderry)

I only asked if she'd put on weight
(submitted by: Hali, Londonderry)

Hygenic Jack
That's what they say
He changed his undies every day
(submitted by: Hali, Londonderry)

I sleepwalk
(submitted by: Hali, Londonderry)

Here lies the girl
who fell for death
He stole her heart
and took her breath
He kissed her as he took her life
She should have watched out for that sythe
(submitted by: Hali, Londonderry)

Sacred to the memory of Major James Brush, Roayal Artillery
Who was killed by the accidental discharge of a pistol by his orderly
14th April 1831 - Well done, good and faithful servant
(submitted by: Nick MacDonald)

Here lies Oakford Grain
Saw a light at the end of the tunnel
It was a train
(submitted by: Marlene)

Here lies Clare Voiyant
She never saw it coming
(submitted by: Mary Q., Milwaukee)

Molly though pleasant in her day
Was suddenly seized and sent away
How soon she's ripe, how soon she's rott'n
Sent to her grave and soon forgott'n
(Mary "Molly" Fowler's grave, Milford Cemetery, Connecticut)

P. U. Smelly
He stunk by day
He reeked at night
His Ma and Pa
Sure named him right
(submitted by: Joanna)

Ima Dumpen
Dropped 1952
Flushed 2005
(submitted by: Chad, Kingsport)

Here lies Bill Clinton
With two blondes and a brunette
(submitted by: Chad, Kingsport)

Here lies the career of Michael Jackson
(submitted by: Chad, Kingsport)

Here lies Kris
He didn't hear the hiss
Too bad the snake didn't miss
(submitted by: Amanda Huggnkis, Greensville)

Runs with Scissors
(submitted by: Lee, Concord, California)
(Lee suggests an Indian burial ground theme)

Dances with Hungry Wolves
(submitted by: Lee, Concord, California)
(Lee suggests an Indian burial ground theme)

Abbey Hoffman
Steal this grave
(submitted by: Lee, Concord, California)

Here lies Seymore Butts
Buried face down
(submitted by: John Carlson)

I. M. Gone
(add a date)
(submitted by: byn, Cincinnati, Ohio)

U. R. Next
(leave date blank)
(submitted by: byn, Cincinnati, Ohio)

Here lies Suzy Sass
Died from shock
Over the price of Gas!
(submitted by: Chris Deter, Brooksville, Florida)

Beza Wood
Here lies one Wood enclosed in wood
One Wood within another
The outer wood is very good
We cannot praise the other
(submitted by: Lorien)

Here lies Walter Dudley
He found out too late,
Dobermans are not cuddly
(submitted by: Lorien)

Ope'd my eyes
Took a peep
Didn't like it
Went back to sleep
(submitted by: Lorien)

Ivan Eatinfish
He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note
(submitted by: Lorien)

Here lies Joyce
She'd rather not
But had no choice
(submitted by: Lorien)

Yetta Nother
Lies here for back talking her mother
(submitted by: Lorien)

I. B. Crisp
Fixed the toaster with a knife
(submitted by: Lorien)

Joshua McQueen
Should have seen the light was green
(submitted by: Lorien)

Here lies Snow White
I told her not to take a bite
(submitted by: Lorien)

Here lies Michael J.
He bleached his face until it faded away
(submitted by: Lorien)

Here lies the body of Jonnathan Crieces
Poor soul was cut to pieces
(submitted by: Todd Tischler, Winter Springs)

Here lies Uncle Dean
Lost his head before he could scream
(submitted by: Todd Tischler, Winter Springs)

Here lies Fred
A rock fell on his head
(submitted by: Jonathan, Novato, California)

Here lies the body of a girl who died
Nobody mourned and nobody cried
How she fared,
Nobody knew and nobody cared
(submitted by: Cynthia Evans, Marietta)

She finally got to sleep in
(submitted by: Jennifer Johnson)
(Jennifer suggests a stone pillow for a headstone)

Here lies my husband god bless his soul
He died of grief when we lost the remote control
(submitted by: Melanie Silva) 

Here lies cold and hard
The last damn dog that
Pooped in my yard
(submitted by: Melanie Silva)

Anita Bath
She could have Bathed
We would have let her
But now that she's gone
She sure smells better
(submitted by: Melanie Silva)

I made an ash out of myself
(submitted by: Melanie Silva)

Here lies Bungee Biff
His rope was longer,
than the cliff!
(submitted by: C. Lawhon, Port Orange, Florida)

Here lies Howard Brown,
He couldn't swim,
but he sure could drown.
(submitted by: C. Lawhon, Port Orange, Florida)

Here Lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No Moore
(Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona)

Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
(Silver City, Nevada)

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas,
Instead of the brake
(Uniontown, Pennsylvania)

Here lies Ann Mann
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann
(London, England)

Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange
(London, England)

Against his will
Here lies George Hill
Who from a cliff
Fell quite stiff
When it happen'd is not known
Therefore not mentioned on this stone

Here lies the body of my sweet sister
She was just fine 'til Dracula kissed her

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
(Anna Hopewell's grave, Enosburg Falls, Vermont)

Papa loved mamma
Mamma loved men
Mamma's in the graveyard
Papa's in the pen
(Garth Brooks)

Here lies an old Atheist by the name of Joe
All dressed up but no place to go!
(Thurmont, Maryland)

I told you I was sick!
(Round Rock, Texas)

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising
(Ruidoso, New Mexico)

Owen Moore
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay
(Battersea, London, England)

Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies,
Nobody laughs and nobody cries;
Where his soul's gone, or how it fares,
Nobody knows, and nobody cares.
(Newbury, England)

Dr. Fred Roberts
Office Upstairs
(Brookland, Arkansas)

Lizzy Bordon's father lies here
(add smaller stones around the main marker that say "and here")

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God
(Nantucket, Massachusetts)

Here lies all that remains of Charlotte
Born a virgin, died a harlot
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvelous thing for this vicinity
(Welland, Ontario)

Here richly, with ridiculous display,
The Politician's corpse was laid away.
While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged,
I wept for I had longed to see him hanged

Here lies the body of
Edward Hyde
We laid him here
Because he died

We all have a debt
To nature due
I've paid mine
And so must you
(Rock Valley, Massachusetts)

Death gave to me a sudden call,
I have obeyed and so must all
(Miss Sarah Cutler, Medway, Massachusetts)

Grim death took me
without any warning.
I was well at night,
and dead in the morning.
(Kent, England)

As you pass by
And cast an eye
As you are now
So once was I
(Bridge Street Cemetery, Eastham Massachusetts)

Remember, Man
As you walk by
As you are now
So once was I
As I am now
So you must be
Prepare for Death
And follow me
(submitted by: Inu Luvver)

I knew this was going to happen to me

Beneath this stone my wife doth lie
Now she's at rest and so am I

Here Lies Mozart
Decomposing

Here Lies as silent clay
Miss Arabella Young.
Who on the 21st of May,
Began to hold her tongue
(Arabella Young, Hatfield, Massachusetts)

Have a humorous or creepy or just plain interesting epitaph not listed here? Contact us!

 
   

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