Deadwood Depot

314 Warm Springs Rd., Kenwood

Reviewed 10/20/07

Wow, what a frustratingly annoying night! More on that but first a little background. Deadwood Depot is housed in the Kenwood Depot, former train station and Sonoma County historic landmark. Definitely an interesting location for a haunted house and after a drive through the wine country on a very crisp Fall night, it was 44° in Kenwood according to our car's thermometer, we were very much looking forward to our visit.

When we arrived, a small crowd was waiting in line and we were greeted by a fine group of undead ladies from the past dressed in their Sunday best. They showed us where to purchase tickets and even informed us that the depot had "virtual line-holders" who would stand in line for us if we decided to keep warm in our car or even leave for 30 minutes to get a bite to eat rather than wait. A very nice touch we thought but one we passed on as it didn't look like there would be that long of a wait.

As more and more time passed we started to wish we had taken her up on the offer. Not for the chill in the air mind you but for the complete lack of anything resembling class or consideration coming from those gathered in line.

A group of teenage couples was ahead of us doing their best to stay warm by groping every conceivable body part of their date. One couple in particular brought back memories of National Lampoon's European Vacation.... Dad I think he's gonna pork her. He's not gonna pork her, Russ. No dad, really, look. Ok, he may pork her.... This display of youthful lust might have been amusing if it weren't happening mere inches away within hair flipping and hot breath distance from us.

At the 20 minute mark, Dr. Hieronymus Nightshade stopped by to entertain the crowd by hawking his magical elixirs. This would have been a wonderful distraction from waiting in line had people just let him perform his act rather than trying to jump in and entertain the crowd themselves. Dr. Nightshade had a wonderful booming deep voice and droll sense of humor that fit his character perfectly but it was hard for him to establish any sort of rhythm with the constant interruption. His second performance 30 minutes later was more involved than the first, many of the buffoons had since entered and left the haunt, but unbelievably it too was marred by people making asses of themselves, shouting out their own jokes, and trying to wrestle control of the show away from the good Doctor.

After waiting in line for 55 minutes, with only about 30 people ahead of us, it was finally our turn to enter Deadwood Depot. We had hoped to enter on our own but the aforementioned buffoons (and their obnoxious brats, complete with swinging glow toys that constantly pummeled our legs) were ushered in behind us creating a much too large group of 10.

Deadwood Depot isn't your typical haunted house where you enter a maze of rooms, proceed through at your own pace, and monsters jump out at you from unseen locations. The Depot is more of a play in acts. You're guided through a series of short vignettes that humorously illustrate a possible turn of the last century haunted past of the depot and the surrounding area.

Set design was interesting and well appointed, particularly the jail and mine shaft scenes, we really enjoyed the rumbling of a passing train that could be felt as much as heard, and the stories were compelling if not a little long winded (much like our reviews) but the acting is where The Depot shined. Relatively few characters drive this production but each is impeccably costumed with a thorough knowledge of their role and great desire to perform. That is, when the buffoons will let them. Room after room we had a great start to a scene only to get mired down with the stupidity of certain individuals and their ill mannered brats. I take that back, in the last room the brat started knocking over props before the scene had even started.

While the acting is very good, the startles are few and far between. Deadwood Depot isn't a gory, scream in your face, bang on the walls type of haunt. "Scares" are built up to at the end of the small plays and are more of the pop out and say boo variety making it a very safe choice for children. Although we positioned ourselves well in each room it's clear that in such a large group, those toward the back did not have as good an experience as we did.

After such a long wait there are surprisingly few rooms which, despite its rather slow paces, makes the haunt feel almost too short. We anticipated a haunt at least twice as long considering the delay between allowing groups in. Having people wait in line for you is a novel approach but in this case we think it would be better to have the public buy tickets for a particular time so they can show up just before they are scheduled to enter.

Deadwood Depot had entertaining moments, which were quite enjoyable and we appreciate the actors' fine efforts in putting on this haunt but we found the wait to be excruciating given the length of the haunt and the uncouth people we had to share it with. While this haunt isn't designed to be an in your face experience it had a couple of good startles and if you go with the proper expectation and mindset it can be very enjoyable. In the end, if you're in the Kenwood area, Deadwood Depot is good family entertainment but if you're looking to be scared stiff and especially if you have to drive far with this being your only destination I would look to another haunt.

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