Cabin Fever

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That pretty much sums up this movie. The DVD box says it's a horror movie, but I think they meant a horrible movie. It's so unbelievable and stupid I really don't even know what to say except save your $3.50 rental money. I had high hopes because I think the premise sounds workable: A group of friends goes to a cabin to celebrate graduating from college. While there, one of them contracts a flesh-eating disease and mayhem ensues.

But the way the movie unfolds, it's like the writers stopped writing after creating this premise and just let the cast improvise the rest of the way through. Not the right actors to try that with … apparently they accepted the first actors that walked through the door. The cast was bland, couldn't act, and had no appeal. I couldn't stop thinking of the television show Boy Meets World every time Rider Strong, who played Shawn on the show, delivered his lines. That's not scary. Well, not in the evil, make your heart race kind of way. And then there was the guy (Dennis) that looked like an ugly girl and the guy (Jeff) that was supposed to be in his early 20s but was balding in a really bad growing the hair long in front to cover it up kind of way. And of course there was the requisite nice girl who was really kind of slutty.

  Now, let me tell you about some of the stupid parts in the movie. One of the guys (Bert, who has no redeeming qualities and in the real world would have no friends) encounters a sick man in the woods. They have an altercation and then Bert goes back to the cabin. Does he say, "Hey, guess what just happened to me?" Nope. He doesn't mention it. Why? Who knows. Then the sick man shows up at the cabin. At this point they do not know what's wrong with man, but they freak out all the same and SET HIM ON FIRE! He proceeds to spew all over their car (convenient that he should aim for their transportation, huh?) before dying. Hi body ends up in a nearby pond. Guess where the drinking water for the cabin comes from? The pond. Gee, that's plausible.

One rather amusing DVD offer this movie has is Chick Vision, which will automatically block out the most gruesome scenes by placing what looks like a pair of hands over the entire screen. There is also The Rotten Fruit, which is a skit using Claymation-like fruit and Pancakes, which shows the guy that played Dennis doing karate. I don't know why.

The DVD special features include:

• Director's Shorts: The Rotten Fruit
• Five feature-length commentaries
• Beneath the Skin: The Making of Cabin Fever
• Family friendly version
• Pancakes
• Chick-Vision

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