When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a
church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went
mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move away
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they
should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other
than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief
in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill
them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave,
tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that
it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take *anything* from the dead.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason.
Take the hint and stay away.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know
what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least
twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite
the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along,
it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior
such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed
here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge
trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches,
soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.