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Jokes for Every Age

What would Halloween be without laughter? Well, it wouldn't be Halloween that's for sure. Below you'll find some of the best (or worst depending on your point of view) Halloween jokes we've collected. If you know of a joke that we don't have here contact The Scribe and we'll post it and give you credit.

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One dark night two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.  Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost!  What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"


Three vampires walk into a bar. The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they'll have?

The first vampire says, "I'll have a glass of O Positive."
The second vampire says, "I'll have a glass of AB Negative."
The third vampire says, "I'm the designated driver. I'll just have a glass of plasma."

The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells,
"Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!"


It's Halloween and this woman has nothing to wear. She puts
a sheet over her and sticks horns on it and goes to work.

A co-worker asks her what she is dressed as.

She replies, "Bull Sheet".


The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell
you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"


A man checked into a hotel in Peru. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent e-mail.

Meanwhile ........somewhere in New York a widow had just arrived home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which Read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: July 30, 2007

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. It is damn hot down here!!

(Submitted by: Annie from Chicago)
 
   

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